The Queen of Everything

The Queen of Everything by Deb Caletti
Published: 11-2-2002 by Simon Pulse

People ask me all the time what having Vince MacKenzie for a father was like. What they mean is, was he always crazy?

High school junior Jordan MacKenzie's life was pretty typical: fractured family, new boyfriend, dead-end job. She'd been living with her father (the predictable optometrist) since her mother (the hippie holdover) had become too embarrassing to be around. Jordan felt that she finally had as normal a life as she could. Then came Gayle D'Angelo.

Jordan knew her father was dating Gayle and that Gayle was married. Jordan knew it was wrong and that her father was becoming someone she didn't recognize anymore, but what could she do about it? And how could she -- how could anyone -- have possibly guessed that this illicit love affair would implode in such a violent and disturbing way?

I like Deb Caletti's books a lot, but this wasn't one of my favorites. It kinda reminded me of Dreamland by Sarah Dessen, which was a depressing book. This book is about things going on in Jordan's life, but most of the things going on in her life are actually things going on in her dad's life and how they affect her.

• Jordan's mom - While Jordan sees her mom as a slightly crazy hippie, I think she's a delightful crazy hippie. Jordan's mom seems to be a much more supportive parent than Jordan thinks she is. She also lives a zany and interesting life.
• Jackson - Jackson is a sweet, patient, and unique guy. Jordan should have spent so much more time with Jackson than she did. He's quirky because he got lost by himself for a few days and followed sounds that no one else heard back home. He plays bagpipes and shows up whenever Jordan needs him, even if she doesn't realize she needs him. 

• Kale - It's difficult to describe how much I hate this guy. He is such a jerk, and every time he showed up I cringed inside because he's just that much of a loser. Jordan wasted so much time with him even thought she knew the kind of guy he was.
• Melissa - Yeah, as far as best friends go, Melissa isn't the greatest one. She doesn't really care that Kale is a disgusting person - she just gets obsessed with the fact that a boy is paying attention to Jordan. Melissa is a pretty flat character, and she gets annoyed at Jordan for silly reasons.
• Jordan's dad - He's so selfish. He gets into a bad situation, and even though his is fully aware that seeing a married woman is a bad idea, he chooses to ignore the things he doesn't like. When Jordan tries to talk to her dad about what he's doing, he gets angry and pushes her away. He's extremely selfish, and it would have been a lot better for Jordan's life if he had at least attempted to be a decent parent.
• I'm confused - You go into this book not knowing what happened, but Jordan is telling you the story after everything has already happened. It was a bit confusing, especially when Jordan refers to Big Mama, a character we aren't introduced to until very late in the story. It can add to a story if you don't know what's going to happen, because the characters don't know what's going to happen. But it was like Jordan existed in 2 times at once - the time when everything was happening, and the time after it happened.

• This photo, ripped up and discarded in anger, did not belong here at our house. This photo of a man who was not even one of us, dressed up for an occasion we were not a part of. It frightened me. Frightened me in a way that I had never felt before. It was the sudden realization that terrible things might not just be for other people.     - pg. 103
• "I think I'm going nuts," I said to the cat. But I heard it. It did. I stood up, as if that might help my ears somehow. God, I felt so crazy, but I could have sworn I heard the sound of bagpipes coming from the direction of the creek.        - Jordan  pg. 332-333

2 robots

Deb Caletti writes about bad family situations so well, but I found it hard to enjoy this book

Acquired: swapped for on swap.com

The Nature of Jade

The Nature of Jade by Deb Caletti
Published: 2-27-2007 by Simon Pulse

I am not my illness. "Girl with Anxiety," "Trauma of the Week" - no. I hate stuff like that. Everyone, everyone has their issue. But the one thing my illness did make me realize is how necessary it is to ignore the dangers of living in order to live. And how much trouble you can get into if you can't.

Jade DeLuna is too young to die. She knows this, and yet she can't quite believe it, especially when the terrifying thoughts, loss of breath, and dizzy feelings come. Since being diagnosed with Panic Disorder, she's trying her best to stay calm, and visiting the elephants at the nearby zoo seems to help. That's why Jade keeps the live zoo webcam on in her room, and that's where she first sees the boy in the red jacket. A boy who stops to watch the elephants. A boy carrying a baby.

His name is Sebastian, and he is raising his son alone. Jade is drawn into Sebastian's cozy life with his son and his activist grandmother on their Seattle houseboat, and before she knows it, she's in love. With this boy who has lived through harder times than anyone she knows. This boy with a past.

Jade knows the situation is beyond complicated, but she hasn't felt this safe in a long time. She owes it all to Sebastian, her boy with the great heart. Her boy who is hiding a terrible secret. A secret that will force Jade to decide between what is right, and what feels right.

This is a reread for me. I read this a few years ago, but I wanted to read it again because now I also suffer from a panic disorder and I was curious to see if I related more to Jade than I did on the 1st read. It's a pretty good book - not amazing and a bit predictable, but still a good read. Overall, the same things stood out to me the 2nd time around.

• anxiety - Jade had a lot of anxiety, and she had panic attacks. This is something I relate to, so reading about a character like Jade was encouraging. I thought that Jade's anxiety was realistic and liked how it didn't take over the plot of the book.
• Sebastian + Jade - These 2 were an adorable couple - each going through their own things and cautiously curious about each other, but willing to put themselves out there. The fact that Sebastian had a child was handled so well too. His son was a constant presence and never ignored when he wasn't around. He's a big part of Sebastian's life and was treated as such.
• Oliver - Jade's little brother wasn't in much of the book, but he was the only member of the family that I could stand. His interactions with his sister were always nice, light-hearted, but understanding and supportive. 

• Jade's parents - Jade's parents, especially her mom, annoyed me. Her mother was off acting like a teenager and her father just decided that if he ignored it, it would stop. I wanted him to find his courage and talk to his wife before things escalated, but he didn't.
• Sebastian's lie - At one point in the story, Sebastian lies to Jade. There are so many reasons I hated what he did: a major lie in a new relationship just destroys any hope of trust, it was a really important thing that he should have come clean to Jade about, and he put his son in a bad situation.
• Abe - Jade's therapist Abe was a cool guy. He really was - but that's part of the issue. Therapists are meant to have a really professional relationship with their clients in order to help them, and he and Jade's interactions just struck me as being a little too friendly and a bit off...like she should have been having the conversation with a best friend instead of this man she sees once a week.

• I can see everyone's reflections in the car windows. Mom, with her hair that has gone from inappropriately frivolous to somehow ashamed; Dad with his disappointed profile; Oliver, with his faraway face, lost in another place where children fought beasts way bigger than themselves and where potions fixed the worst evils.       - pg. 82
• If she knew I would wear what she suggested to meet a guy of an undefined age who I had just met, who has a baby, she would have strangled me with her new leather belt she's just also offered to lend me.      - pg. 113    Jade  + her mom

3 robots

A good book that deals with a lot of heavy things without ever focusing too much on any one of them

Acquired: bought

The Six Rules of Maybe

The Six Rules of Maybe by Deb Caletti

Published: March 16, 2010 by Simon Pulse

Scarlet spends most of her time worrying about other people. Some are her friends, others are practically strangers, and then there are the ones no else even notices. Trying to fix their lives come naturally to her. And pushing her own needs to the side is part of the deal. So when her older sisters comes home unexpectedly married and pregnant, Scarlet has a new person to worry about. But all of her good intentions are shattered when the unthinkable happens: she falls for her sister's husband. For the first time in a long time, Scarlet's not fixing a problem, she's at the center of one. And ignoring her feelings doesn't seem to be an option...

I've liked most of the Deb Caletti books I've read so I'm always willing to try more. This book ended up being just alright but I wasn't really expecting to love it based on the summary. I'm not usually a big fan of stories where someone "falls in love" with someone else's significant other. I found it really hard to relate and I got tired of Scarlet obsessing over her sister's husband. 

Reasons I love this book:

• Scarlet's neighbors - Everyone on Scarlet's street is very quirky. Maybe too quirky to be realistic, but that's alright since I'm not really looking for perfect realism in books. Scarlet's neighbors and their problems keep Scarlet from getting too wrapped up in her sister's issues and provide welcome breaks from Scarlet's worrying.
• Shy - I've forgotten his real name, but I like him. He may be quiet but he knows what he wants. And Scarlet's friend Nicole reacts so realistically when Shy begins to show interest in someone other than her. Girls can be so catty and feel stabbed in the back by a friend who did nothing wrong. 
• Hayden - I really like Juliet's husband Hayden. He seems so excited and hopeful about marriage and pretty much everything in life. Sometimes I wanted him to stop dreaming and actually do something, but overall I liked him and his outlook on life. 

Huh, what?:

• plot - I had an issue with Scarlet's huge crush on Hayden. It just felt like he latched onto him because she had no life of her own or hobbies other than listening to people's problems. Maybe this was more of a problem with Scarlet's personality, but most of the plot is her ignoring Juliet while crushing on Juliet's husband.
• Scarlet - Scarlet seemed very judgmental to me, especially when it came to Juliet. Yes, they are sisters so she knows Juliet very well, but to automatically decide that Juliet was going to hurt Hayden and basically do everything wrong is just ridiculous. Scarlet didn't even get reacquainted with her sister before writing the marriage off. She judged everyone and then got all tangled up in their personal problems without considering what they wanted. 

Favorite quotes:

• Through the space between my fingers, I could see that Clive Weaver wore his old man slippers, too, and worse yet, his former mailman helmet, which all gave him the unfortunate look of an old nude guy in search of a mail safari.         -  pg. 79
• I had a moment of fear-panic, looked at his hands. I saw with relief that they did not hold some round cartoon bomb with a sparkling, lit fuse, nor a Wile E. Coyote crate labeled Dynamite! Actually, he was smiling. I had to think a minute. I wasn't sure I'd ever seen Kevin Frink smile. He smirked, yes, but that only involved one corner of the mouth, not both.         -  pg. 154

3 robots

Not my favorite by Deb Caletti. Try it if you don't mind books about liking someone else's significant other.

Acquired: bought